Tomorrow is the day

Wednesday...this Wednesday...tomorrow... 23 hours

You guys...I can't believe that the week is finally here! It felt like it was never going to get here!

I've been taking a lot of time for myself recently because it's something that I've needed to do. 

I came to realize that I'm not Super Woman. I have a husband and a son who rely on me and in order to be able to take care of them, I have to take care of myself as well. 

 My doctors appointment 2 weeks ago didn't answer anything at all. No labs were done to verify what my previous labs had found. I honestly paid a copay to show up to an appointment and have a doctor repeatedly tell me "I don't know. I have no idea. We have no clue." over and over again. There's a couple of things that can be/are considered factors or possible factors at the time but we don't know for certain.

To put it plainly, it may not be as bad as some people are thinking it was, but the lab results were not good.

After my routine lab work with my OB office, they were very concerned about the look of my blood so they ran a couple of more labs (a metabolic panel & a lipid panel to be exact). Everything in my metabolic panel actually came back within range minus my sodium and glucose which were both just slightly under the lower end of the range. My lipid panel however was baffling. 

My cholesterol was over double what the high end of the range should have been & my triglycerides were over 34 times what they should be...

That's not a typo at all....literally over 34 times the high end of the range. 

This is what literally left all the doctors pretty speechless.

All my labs are pointing to a perfectly healthy person for my age. The doctor looked at me and flat out told me that they see people with diabetes that only eat junk food and their levels are no where near mine & that they see numbers 5x what they're supposed to be and they are concerned...

The labs were so high that they told me that diet, exercise, medication, etc. all would not be able to help or make hardly any difference so basically there was no point in trying to do anything about it for the time being.

I figured it couldn't hurt to try with diet and exercise. I would exercise before, but not consistently...it was pretty much just whenever I felt like it. However, the past 2 weeks I have working out consistently and I've been monitoring my food better. 

No soda, all water, lots of walking...it's only been 2 weeks and I'm already noticing a difference!

The past 2 weeks have been SO tough though! Here we are, trying to get pregnant, taking medication to help progress that and I get a call and I'm told that if I'm currently pregnant that I was extremely likely to stroke out or have a heart attack while pregnant...

That was the most torn I have ever felt. 

I was torn because I have been longing for another baby SO badly and I could very well have been pregnant, but at the same time here I was, now not wanting to be pregnant because of the extreme health risk. 

It was no longer about wanting another baby...it was about wanting to be here for Christian & Zion. 

I don't think I have ever wished that I wasn't pregnant as much as I had the past 2 weeks. 

Don't get me wrong, I would have been thrilled and excited, but it would have come with SO many other health challenges. 

However, we are not pregnant and are onto some answers (hopefully)!

Tomorrow is the day that I've been looking forward to for over a month! I'm even more excited to get answers about this new lab work as well!

The only "answer" that we got from the other doctor was that prolonged use of Clomid can cause  hypertriglyceridemia(which is what I "have" and that's the medication I've been taking to get pregnant). 

With this doctor being a Reproductive Endocrinologist he should have more of an idea of what's going on, but if he doesn't have an idea he would know what labs need to be run to figure out.
I'm not focused on trying to have another baby anymore right now. My number 1 priority with all of this is to figure out what happened with my labs & how I can fix it or correct them so that I can be here for my family.

I'm so incredibly excited for tomorrow but at the same time I'm terrified. I want to have answers but I'm scared of what answers I'll get!
No matter what happens though, it's okay. If it's good answers or bad, at least I'll have an idea of what I have ahead of me and then I'll have a deeper knowledge of what it is that's causing all of this.

Tomorrow couldn't get here soon enough!