You are what you choose to become

I’m going to be completely honest…and don’t get me wrong, New Year's Day was GREAT! But…it was TOUGH!

With infertility, some days are great and some days are the complete opposite. Some days you have all the hope that one could ever wish for, only to feel like giving up and like the fight isn't worth it just mere days later. 

I had such a great time on New Years, just spending time with my family, but it also happened to be one of those days when I wanted to give up. The side effects to the medicine were BAD and I just didn’t see a point in even trying to overcome this anymore…I was on Pinterest on New Year's Day and I saw this image pop up(from In Due Time). I kind of stopped myself and was thinking “Who would be THANKFUL for their infertility?!”

Reasons not to be thankful started flowing through my mind immediately.

It makes me feel so vulnerable…all of the constant heartache…feeling like you’re failing…the side effects…always feeling like you’re on a rollercoaster of emotions that somehow never seems to stop or slow down…that it isn’t fair…

All I could think about is how could ANYONE be thankful for any of that…and then, out of nowhere, it was like my eyes were opened…

If you know me, you know that I don’t really like to open up and share my emotions…I don’t like feeling vulnerable, I don’t like the uncertainty of things. But I can honestly stand with these women and say, with 100% certainty, that I am thankful.

-I’m thankful because it’s shown me that no matter how much I like to be in control of things (or act like I have control of things) that I cannot and will not be able to control this. (this was a HARD pill to swallow)

-I’m thankful that it’s caused me to lean on God more than ever before. To really trust Him & trust what His plan is for our family.

-I’m thankful that because of this, I have made SO many more friends who also double as a support group to me. Without it, I would’ve never had this opportunity to meet so many amazing, strong women and connect with them!

-I’m thankful for family and friends that I already had because they have rallied around and prayed for us and with us. Even when I didn’t feel any prayers, I knew they were there.

-I’m thankful for this entire journey (good, bad & ugly) because I am able to be a voice and give hope to women who don’t have it. On days where I’m doing great, but they feel like giving up & throwing in the towel, I can speak life and give them a seed of hope.

Above all, I’m thankful because it has stretched me, challenged me, and pushed me farther than I ever thought I could go, in every aspect of life (physically, mentally, spiritually & emotionally)…it has changed me and helped shape me into who I am today.

I am not what happened to me, but I am what I choose to become & I choose to become thankful. I choose to become a voice. I choose to be an overcomer.

Why we are thankful for infertility-  Check out the original post from Caroline on In Due Time!