Infertility Q&A- You asked & I answered!
This may be a bit of a longer post since I have quite a few questions to answer, but I've got them all rounded up so lets get down to business!
1. What is infertility? - To keep it short and simple, it is the inability to conceive a child, usually after 6 months-1 year of trying, depending on your age.
2. Is there a "cure-all" for infertility? - Unfortunately there is no "cure" for infertility. A specific treatment that works great for one couple simply won't work for another.
3. How do you know it's actually infertility? - I've had various tests, procedures and rounds of lab work done that can confirm it.
4. How long have you been dealing with infertility? - For a little over 4 years technically. While we weren't actively trying for another child when Zion was younger, I still was dealing with infertility.
5. Have you been diagnosed with endometriosis or anything like that? - I haven't been diagnosed with some more known issues (endometriosis/PCOS) but I have what they call anovulation which can be easily treated.
6. How did having infertility & multiple miscarriages before Zion affect you when you were pregnant with him? - This is a tough one to talk about & it definitely had a negative impact on my outlook on things. Honestly, before pretty much every appointment, I would be sitting in the waiting room, extremely nervous, with a gut feeling that there was going to be something wrong. I always thought the worst of things because I was terrified to get my hopes up.
7. Could you have done anything differently and avoided infertility? - Truthfully, no. Sometimes things can be avoided but not in my case.
8. Can you do anything about it? If so, what? - Absolutely! There are a number of treatment options available, ranging from simple oral medications up to surgical procedures depending on the patients needs. In my case we started out with oral medications to try and get my body to ovulate. Amazingly it worked the first time with Zion! Right now we're to the point where I'm going to end up being referred to a specialist because the medication alone isn't working this time. After more tests the RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) will decide what the best plan of action is for me and we'll begin to tackle it.
9. Do you think one of the reason's it's been hard for you to get pregnant is due to the shots when you were younger? - In my honest opinion, I 100% believe that they are connected. The shots I took were for a growth hormone deficiency. With one hormone deficiency there are usually others that are happening/can happen. There was also a study done that pretty much ends in saying that disturbances in the reproductive functions can be expected in women who were treated for growth hormone deficiency in their childhood (aka me). Knowing those 2 things, I know that it's more than likely connected, but it also reassures me that there's nothing I could have done to prevent infertility.
10. How long did it take you to open up to your family/friends about your struggles with infertility? - I don't remember exactly how long it was but I know that family & friends knew we were having some troubles during the first year of marriage. However, opening up to my mom was extremely easy because I knew she knows exactly how I was feeling and it helped being able to talk to her, even if nothing could be said. I opened up to my closest friends fairly quick after the diagnosis only because they knew I was going to go see a doctor about it. But the majority of people had no idea until it had been almost 2 years simply because I didn't want others to know because of how infertility made/makes me feel.
11. Would you ever consider adoption? - Absolutely! Being adopted myself, I would love to adopt! I've checked into it and private adoptions are more expensive for the obvious reasons, and with our schedules right now we just wouldn't be able to complete the required classes needed in order to become foster parents but it is ALWAYS in my mind.
12. Why do IUI vs IVF? - Some of you may know that we are at the point of possibly having to start looking into IUI within the next few months. IUI & IVF are very different. For one, IUI is quite a bit cheaper than IVF, however, IVF has a higher success rate. IUI is generally first line of action if oral medications alone aren't working but that could change per person based on their specific diagnosis with infertility.
13. How do you handle the stress of it all? Is there something you do that helps more than other things? - I think most of the time I'm stressed I try to busy myself as much as possible to keep myself from thinking about it. Sometimes though, I just want to relax. Talking about it has helped a bit but at other times I really just can't hardly talk at all. It really depends on a day to day basis.
14. Have you ever thought about or considered using anything from a donor for IUI or IVF? - Not really because with those added things there are added costs & they aren't cheap.
15. How do you manage each day, not knowing if you'll have another child? - Is that a devastating thought, absolutely. I want to have another child more than anything BUT knowing that I already have more than so many other women struggling with infertility helps keep my mind in the right place. Knowing that we we're blessed with Zion and that he's a miracle helps so much.
16. How do you feel with so many others around you getting pregnant and having babies? - I don't like answering this question often because it's difficult to explain. I have never, nor will I ever, be upset that someone is pregnant or having a baby. It's the best thing to experience! I am always extremely happy for them but at the same time it reminds me of what I can't do right now. This is probably the toughest time for me while dealing with infertility so far because 2 of my sisters are pregnant and I've always wanted to be pregnant at the same time as them...but here I am, not pregnant. I am literally around at least one pregnant person everywhere I go....except for my own home. It surrounds me at work, church, while I'm shopping...literally everywhere but home. It's hard for me because I'm so SO happy for my friends and family but at the same time with each passing month I wonder when it's my turn again. Let me clarify again, no matter how hard it is for me, I am celebrating with my family and friends who are pregnant. I will forever be happy for them! I'm sorry for the long answer on this one, I just don't want anyone to feel as if them being pregnant makes me upset or they make me sad because that's far from the truth. Yes, it's tough guys but I'm ok.
17. Have you decided ahead of time how many treatments you'll do and/or what treatments you would do? - I have most definitely thought about it more than I would have liked to & to this day I still think about it often. The main thing here is the cost of treatments. Most insurance (mine included) covers nothing for infertility treatment, meaning every cost is out of pocket. These things are also paid upfront. They do have lines of credit specifically for infertility treatments but I don't and won't put my family in that position. 1 round of IUI (meaning 1 month of trying) is easily around $1,500 depending on medications needed and such. 1 round of IVF will generally be $15,000 or more depending on added choices like gender selection, genetic testing and such.
18. Are people generally more encouraging or do you seem to face judgement/skepticism? - For the most part people are more encouraging but I do run into my fare share of people who judge for whatever reason they please.
19. When will enough be enough? Like at what point would you accept that you wouldn't have another kid without shelling out $50,000 for IVF? I'm not saying that would happen, but what would you do if that's what it came to? Would you ever give up? - At this point, I would love to say I would try IVF at least once, but we simply can't afford that. I most likely will try at least a few rounds of IUI, if need be, and if it still isn't working them I would probably have to take a break for a while for financial reasons and just the emotional toll it can take on a person & marriage.
20. Will you always suffer with infertility? - Honestly, I don't have an answer to that question. I would love to say no but the truth is that I simply don't know.
Thank you all again for the questions! I'm sorry for the monstrous sized blog but there were 20 questions! If you have more questions you can ask them at any time and I will answer!
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